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  • I suck at texting unless:

    • I am in a relationship with you
    • You are my mom
    • I need something
    • Me and you are close as fuck

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Australian money is the prettiest


    i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”

    + 442509



    im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh

    I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.

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    My anaconda will consider it

    My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

    Re: Your Anaconda,

    Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

    Yours, etc.
    A bunless hun

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    treating a woman with respect and regarding her as a human being doesn’t automatically mean ur cock deserves to get stroked sorry to break it to u

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